life

Life is hard. And sometimes, a lot of times its not fair. When my life changed I let go of a lot. I lost a lot. I now see a lot of what I lost was given up voluntarily. By me. I gave up my hope. I gave up my dreams. I choose to focus on what was gone, to focus on the injustice. I didn't lose myself in the fire, I gave it away. I chose for it to be that way. It was not taken. It was surrendered. I felt myself at the whims of God. I cried for what was, what had been. That's then. I'm trying to take it back now. Tomorrow I can choose differently. Tomorrow is not then, its not today. Tomorrow I can choose to make this a new day in my life. I surrendered my will, my control to the smoke that filled the walls and the flames that consumed them. I am in charge. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will choose not to feel sorry for myself. I will choose to smile. Life is hard. Life is frequently unfair. Life is not about avoiding the storms its about learning to dance in the rain. I want to dance again.