control

It all comes down to control, if you want to survey the issue in its entirety. I lost total control over every aspect of my life in one fell swoop, and it shook me to the core. I am always, and pride myself on being in control. I had things that were well and truly MINE, that I didn't have to share with anyone. I lost all of that. I no longer have anything that's just MINE. I am working on that now. I want to re-establish my life, start over. I could look at this as the worst thing that ever happened to me, or possibly the best. this was my warning shot. It could have been SO much worse than it was. I could have lost my kids, I could have lost my brother, the pets my mom, my life. This could be a disaster, or it could be just the wake up call I needed that I need to re-evaluate my place in this world. I'm looking at thing with new eyes now, like I hadn't seen it before. I'm thinking about writing again, taking cooking classes, maybe doing karate. It has started with my diet. I've regained control of my eating habits and am starting to undo the damage the last few months has done to my waist line. Its only my jumping off point. Check with me later tonight to see new pictures of the construction inside the house.