looking for joy

I need to start my life, myself over. I see now I need to re-evaluate my world and my place in it. Looking back, I can see I was unhappy but the status quo stopped me from questioning my environment. A dramatic event, good or bad, can give you clarity. That is what seems to be happening here. The smoke is starting to clear, and i find myself looking at buying a house, and almost done school, and find myself with a small degree of hope for the first time in many many months. So I make it my mission, at least for now, to look for joy in my life. Originally it was the rainbow at the beach. I'm not saying that I'm to be going through my life all Pollyana-ish or anything, just to make a point of looking for things that lift me up. Every once in a while something will get to me, like while I'm making a cake for my sons party next tomorrow. I am making a Transformers cake, and i needed a container to put it in when finished. We USED to have one that would have been perfect, but its gone now. I looked every where only to find nothing. Little things like that will sneak up on me and be waiting to bite me in the butt. I expect this to happen for quite some time to come. But life continues to move whether you're ready for it or not. I have decided to keep up. I lost my power somewhere along the way and this could be the beginning of the journey that helps me reclaim it. I'll keep you posted where I end up next. As soon as I figure it out myself, that is.