too too long

I have been unable to post, as I don't know where to begin on how I really feel about all of this. I know the money issue is getting in the way of my truly moving past this, at least for now. For those of you I haven't vented to recently, the insurance company has issued us our check. When we first filed the claim, i had to provide a separate list as to the contents of my room, as nothing in there was identifiable. I think the money from the list belongs to me. Mom gets the check, and its safely tucked away for now. don't get me wrong I don't think she'll be irresponsible with it, but I bought the things in my room with my money, and now i am slowly slowly replacing them with my own money. It just doesn't seem fair. I'm working on changing this. I wonder if I let me pride get in the way. From now on, if I need something for me or the boys that we used to have beforehand, she will be paying for it. Simple as that. Sneakers, fall clothes, winter coats, camping gear, cub scout uniforms, furniture, cosmetics. That goes for them and me. she wants to be this way, fine. she can just get used to handing me her credit card. Even to m,y ears that sounds childish, but a big part of me has just seriously stopped caring what anyone else thinks about anything. I love her for what she's done, but i'm done looking out for anyone but me and mine.